cling and clatter

it was just normal church that sunday, a normal overcast day, normal message, normal music. I would usually do something with my friends after church, but everyone was busy, so i just went straight home. There was no body at home, my family was out doing something too.
I floated around my house for a little while. Made myself a drink, cleaned my room, went on the computer. I tried to fill my afternoon with many little small things, but that only lasted so long. I soon found myself wanting to talk to someone. So i tried a few people, MSN, phone messages. No one was replying. Then i tried to ring some of them. None of them would pick up their phones either. I literally tried like ten people and no one would answer, they would just go straight to voicemail.
it was strange. I felt in this moment slightly lonely. I felt that i was alone and that i couldn’t share my human experience with anyone. It wasn’t a good feeling at all. It sucked to be honest. I felt suffocated, isolated, upset, annoyed.
After walking around the house for a little while feeling a little down, i got out the book and just started to read something, anything. God soon comforted me and told me that he was there and that he wanted to chill with me. but it made me think, how would people handle this kind of feeling twenty-four seven? i felt this feeling of lonliness only mildly and temporarily, for a short period of time. how would people be if it seemed to always be there, lurking behind every corner, following them wherever they went, always being their greatest downfall.
I realised that so much life is shaped by our friends, the people we hang around with. I was talking with a friend the other week about how much her sister has made her the way she is, simply because they spend so much time with each other. its the same with friends. God created the concept of friends, it is one of his grandest achievements. I am sure you have often heard the saying that no man is an island. This applies to myself as well. i am so grateful for my friends, i think they are all so beautiful and make my world bright as bright can be.
I would just like to take this little space, this little net space, to speak and thank some of my friends. Of course i could be here forever, but i just want to talk about ten friends that make my life special. i could list oh so many more, but ill just leave it for ten today. Dont be sad if your name isnt mentioned, you know i still love you! have to stop and some number, so i thought ten would be nice. So here we go, in no particular order.

JordanH.
I guess i never really let you know how much you mean to me brother. Last year was like hardcore bonding, camping together, leading together, learning together, fighting together, praying together, forgiving together, listening together, respecting together. Everything was together, you were like my girlfriend cause i saw you so much. Your a real mate bud, you are really loyal, you see the person and heart in people and nothing else. i feel i can just chill with you whenever and not have to say or do anything. i can just be me, and thats important. We are reasonably young friends, and i can see being friends with you forever. i can see us out on the porch somewhere, watching our grandkids play together, thinking about times like these. Thanks for being there for me so many times.

GraceL.
Sometimes i feel like such a bad friend to you Grace, i never show you how much you mean to me. Ever since your birthday last year, you really have just become like a sister to me, in every possible way. i have ‘cried on your shoulder’ many times, complaining to you, letting my heart run free, telling you exactly how it feels. You see all my faults i think, cause i tell you so much, you see me at my worst, but you still love me for me. Not in any silly romantic way, but in a beautiful friendship way, and that makes me smile. You always sigh and say ‘dave dave dave, will you ever learn?’, when you see me repeat the same mistakes or hurt people or do whatever i do that is silly. Its not a judgmental dave dave dave though, its a caring, loving and sometimes worrying dave dave dave, that hopes the best for my life, that actually cares about what i do next. Your a beautiful sister, thanks for being there when i needed you.

SamuelK.
I wish we could hang out more. thats all i really need to say. You are an inspiration brother, a true shining inspiration. Whenever i hang around you, i really feel myself lifted up. You encourage me in everything, in my long term goals, in my striving for seeking out God and loving Him with everything. You just live your life with such integrity and honesty man, such passion and zeal, its awesome. God has set you apart like an apple in a garden of oranges. Our meeting back at the start of last year was no accident brother. you have taught me and encouraged me so much, i really feel a deep connection with you and really feel that your life in the future will continue to encourage me and spur me on to grow, to change that little bit of my character, or to sacfriice that little bit more of my life. Youre a great friend and are always willing to set aside time for me, even though you are so incredibly busy. That means alot to me bud, thanks.

JamesL.
Nigga, fool. I probably call you these two terms more than i call you your own name. The funny thing is, you arent either. You certainly aren’t a fool, and you definitely aren’t a nigga, thats for sure. I like you because you care. You really do care. you listen to me. Even when you dont know what to say, you always come up with some kind of advice that makes me smile. Man we have got so many memories together. Like 15 years worth of memories. I remember your five houses and all the mad stuff that we would do at all of them. All the times we have hung out doing what we do, playing computer, shooting the neighbours dog with waterguns, breaking the law in my car, stealing mars bars from supermarkets. It has all been mad fun. You’re a quality guy, and if any chick breaks your heart ill vow never to speak to them again. Me thinks im protective over you.

RachelL.
Rachellll. You make my friendship circle complete. There is no one in the world that understands me like you do. There is no one in the world that could replace you as a friend. I know that i know that i know that we will be forever friends, however loosely you want to apply that term. We have had our little times of watever, but i think we have kinda come through all of that now. Its true, whenever i seem to be putting in the effort you didnt seem to be. And whenever you seemed to be putting in the effort, i didnt seem to be. I think that we are both gradually now, at the same time, which makes it ever so beautiful. You inspire me in so many ways. You are my favourite writer, your words are so ridisculously perfect they make me cringe inside. You have sent me the most letters, you have written me the longest emails, you have made me the most bookmarks. Thanks for everything rach. You’re really cool.

AmyS.
sometimes i feel like ive known you for ages, more than the time we have hung out. Other times i feel like there is so much that i don’t know about you, like finding pages glued together in a book, opening them up and reading fresh new dialogue which adds so much more to the story. I like how we journey together. We often discover things at the same time. We find oursevles asking the same questions and being frustrated with the same issues. Some things we are on the same page about, and other things we are totally not. But thats cool, we push that aside and still manage to have the raddest fun ever. i love it how you are so alive, you are so active and you always look to embrace life at every opportunity. You listen to me, you are interested in me, you challenge me to go further, you hope the best for me. This means the world. thanks for everything, thanks for putting up with me when ive been a loser. Thanks for just simply being a friend. Youre the best.

BenC.
I wonder if you thought if you were one of my closest friends? well let me answer that question for you. yes you are. We dont hang out much 1 on 1, but we see each other heaps in group situations. and if you were gone from those group situations i would feel it like anything else. You really are a brother. You just love me just cause im dougy. hey that rhymes. No doubt our accountability group has brought us really close. I love to hear your heart and listen to whats going on in your head. You make me want to come to church sometimes. Like just you being there makes such a difference. You leaving church would kill me, haha, no pressure there. but you know what i mean. You are honest as anything, so so real and that is just refreshing. We confront similiar issues and its cool to be able to talk through them. Im so looking forward to your life, and what it entails in the future. Its gonna rock bro, rock like anything.

StevenW.
Well you would be the veteran on this list mate. You get the award for putting up with me for the longest period of time. nearly twenty years it would be. we share so many memories. we have had so many conversations together, so many times being close and so many times apart. times when there has been crap between us and other times when it would feel like nothing could break the bonds between us. i think you in my life would be classic example of the quote ‘you dont know what you’ve got till its gone’. You have just always been there, and until you leave, i dont think i would ever know the full extent of your impact in my life. You always bring me back to earth steve. You always know how to have a good time, and its been really great to get to know that little bit more over the past few months. i really believe that God will develop our friendship further in the future. Your a true brother, i would do almost anything for you bro. love your work, thanks.

StephT.
STEPH. aw steph i love you muchly. remember if we are both twenty eight and unmarried then we are going to marry each other! hehe. we have a special bond, i know this for sure. i could hang at your place any day. Im really sorry over the past few months i havent really made enough effort. that one chat that we had a few weeks ago was beautiful. I wish we could hang out more, maybe i can come visit you at bayside one day. All the great times we have had in the past. Canberra trip, those prayer breakfasts, speaking every fricken monday morning for captaincy, supporting me with fiveoneseven, holding me when i needed someone to hold me. I still remember looking around for you that one day, on the verge of tears when i had that fight with that friend. i think we both know who that was. I didnt want to see anyone else but you. You care for me lots, i know that, cause you show it. Thanks for being amazing. i hope we never drift apart.

BenN.
last but definitely not least, is benjamin. you are just plain cool. everybody knows that. dude check out the memories we have. playing psycho ball in my old room, wrestling each other to the ground in primary school. playing hours and hours of computer games. playing footy and table tennis in your old back yard. going to southland way too often, spitting from the top floor and getting told off by secruity guards. sleeping in the same bed at planetshakers, screaming and going absolutely going nuts to the sounds of underoath and emery. having some sweet as times with God, speaking over each other with encouraging and sometimes challenging words. Leading cell groups together at youth, checking out music together, going to gigs together, eating way too much together, travelling together, farting together, singing to the methane song together. Dude, we were so cool. Now we dont get to hang so much, which sucks. Thanks for always being there. Sucks that i couldnt come to your movie on sunday night, dont feel the best about that. Our time is not up yet bro. We still have the world to conquer! love ya mate, your a true champion.

Goodness, 2300 words, ive written a flippen essay. But the thing is i could write so much more. maybe ill make a part two of this. The point of this post is simply to be thankful for your friends. God loves it when we share our life with other people. Its half of what this thing is about.