9 crimes

i love to read what other people write. My friend amy said once that writing is better and more beautiful than speaking because it isn’t affected by the rush of conversation. it takes time to spill out the words. Wherever you are, on a beach with a notepad or stuck in a room with a computer, words written take their time to express what needs to be said. Writing is another expression of a personality. People say to me sometimes that i write the way i speak. But i don’t think i do. I write how i write, which i believe is completely different to how i speak. Its another facet of me, another bone for people to pick with, another part of me for people to dislike.

i often find myself looking at people and finding the things that i dislike about them. its like i can’t see past the crap that they have and that i so evidently dislike. it limits my love for them, my chances to talk and know them, my chances to give and receive from them. Whenever i see them i instantly get frustrated by their negatives, rather than looking and trying to find their positives. And even if you can’t find any positives, just trying to love them because God does.

i wrote a post a few nights ago that i didn’t end up posting. I might post it up one day. it basically just said ’sorry’. Sorry to the people that i hurt, sorry for the mistakes i made. Sorry for the bad attitudes that i had, for the words that i should have never had said. I guess it was just asking for people to try and see my positives, whatever they were and wherever they could be found. Im really trying to leave dodgy stuff behind, to embrace life and God and everything that fits in with that.
the heart of this blog was about giving God time everyday, however abstractly that can be interpreted. To be honest with you all, i haven’t really been doing that lately, and i guess thats why my posts have been less frequent. With something of our little souls, we should be pursuing God, trying to find out a little bit more of what he wants, trying to search a little bit more of his heart for us and the world.

The last post i talked about de-wrapping ourselves from ourselves and giving ourselves back to the cause of God and his dream for the world. I’m still on a journey of de-wrapping. I’ll get there eventually.