pretend you’re alive

my scene is the same as usual. sitting on the bed with my laptop on my lap. funny that. it’s a pretty apt name don’t you think? They really thought hard about that one. a while ago i found a spot where i can let it rest on my lap without it heating up too much. its hard to explain, but its good. it just means that i can rest in the same position for a long time without feeling like my legs are about to go on fire.

i have been thinking deeply lately. but i wonder, what does deeply mean? meaning of life stuff, who we are stuff. i think about thinking about this stuff and i wonder if this could just be normal? every human has to face these kinds of questions one day or another right? no matter how dumb they are, i think that every human has to process these kinds of thoughts. uno, like its a must do, a box on the human checklist that has to be ticked off before we die. otherwise if someone doesn’t, i wonder whether that person is truly human? hmm. i’m not sure, I’m throwing around questions in a really really small box, which makes them fly around really really fast. sorry if you’re getting dizzy.

anyway i say that to say this; cant we classify these questions as normal? we only perceive these to be deep questions because we compare them to all the other questions. Like what we eat every day and how we are to make our way to the lawn bowls on tuesdays. we get so caught up in these day-to-day life questions, that when we eventually get to real life-life questions, we feel they are too deep and perhaps even sometimes burdensome. i want to propose that these questions are the real questions. the questions we were made to ask. because deep down this is what the person, whether you realise it or not, wants to ask. now im not trying to be super-spiro in dividing up the soul body and heart and whatever, as if we are all schizophrenic. All im trying to say is that the person that we are, the thing that God made, the beautiful character that we sometimes neglect, asks these questions all the time. we just have to stop worrying about how we are going to get to the lawn bowls and start wondering what exactly we are doing here, how we are trapped inside our bodies and what we are going to do with our lives.

so i have been thinking lots about stuff. there are many questions that don’t have answers. too many maybe. i mean questions that don’t have real answers, no matter how hard you look. Like, God existing and the bible being what God wants us to read and what he wants us to align our lives with. how can we really know the answers to those? i guess thats where faith comes in.

Faith and these questions are such personal things. They can be communal things, but they are always personal things. Thats why i think so many people get edgy when christians try to force their answers onto other people. They wonder to themselves why another person is trying to answer questions that are only theirs to explore. Each person has to ask these questions, these questions dealing with the very heart of who they are and how they are to live their life. hmm… i do wonder, could we possibly get anymore personal?

so i think that when Jesus commanded his followers to make disciples of all nations, he didn’t mean for us to cram doctrine down other peoples throats. i think he just simply meant that we should give people the opportunity to choose God, represented by us, by the way we live and love. Without us being there, they don’t have a choice, and without a choice, they can’t choose God, and therefore, the commandment is impossible to fulfill. i don’t think Jesus asked us to choose for other people. i think he asked us to give other people a choice.
And at that, a choice worth wondering about.



4 responses to “pretend you’re alive

  1. mmm very true dave, we so often force our answers onto other people rather than letting them explore it for themselves. Our ministry should primarily be the way we live our lives, not through crazy Bible-bashing. i love your honesty, this is an awesome post!

  2. oh dave, definitely not a tickbox thing. it simply just couldn’t (italics!!) be a tickbox because that would mean once done my duty to it would be done. It’s a lifelong passion kinda thing, but i do have to say at time oh so tiring. But then words and expressions make it all so much easier. And then, as you have said, that’s my personal opinion 😛

  3. yah clara, nar i completley agree! i meant like a tickbox thing in the terms that everyone has to think about it at least once, like no one can not not think about it… whether its everyday like me, or perhaps even more like you! im not just talking about a one off thing… sure, its a journey 🙂 your too right

  4. I was really frustrated today, actually picture a less frantic frustrated. more like a lazy sigh frustrated… heat.. cant be bothered.. how annoying etc… because i was attempting to read your blog on my phone whilst spending enormous amounts of my day doing crap all waiting in court and the stupid “read more” link would get highlighted so i could click it! but now, yes now I have done so with my trusty mouse.

    first thing that grabbed me was thoughts Ive thought about thoughts i think.. like, thinking you’re better coz you’re thinking deeper questions, and that well , you really cant be better than everyone else, coz everyone has the capacity to do so, dont they? everyone was created in the same form and therefore with the same cpapcity surely, And God did make people different but he also made them the same… and He gave us a mind, so everyone must think this stuff, maybe they just don’t publisicise it… maybe we’re the ones lower down, maybe we’re the ones less deep because everyone else who doesn’t mention it is beyond or something… i dont know… then it gets into all comparing theories, and don miller searching for God type theories..

    I can’t help but see reflections of this in your first bit.. but i quite enjoyed this sentance, i’ll probably extrapolate on it and paraphrase it for the rest of my life to people ;p

    “They wonder to themselves why another person is trying to answer questions that are only theirs to explore.”

    I cant respond to the rest as I’ve got too big a sphere of reference to breakdown before I can re: just being at your church again last night and the aog’ness of if all. and how that thinks and how that thinks different to me, so small and sterotpyed and simplifed and commercialised in catchphrases and ahh
    and how that then means such things like… and im going where i couldnt be bothered going so shall STOP!


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