*words scribbled on the back of an exercise book at the end of 2006, when i failed a subject at bible college*
“I want these words to change me. Let it be a button on a machine, that when you press it, it does stuff. Motion, motion, motion. Why is this so hard? It doesn’t feel like it should be hard, but it is, it’s extremely hard. I am defining myself in these days. Defining my strength, my perseverance, everything.
Its all crazy like crazy, thats the best way i can explain it.
I am sick of failing, I’m sick of all the negative things ruling and reigning, like an evil dictator man inside my head, forcing bad unnatural things onto good and pure intentions. Can i change the future for myself?
I want to; thats a surety.”