pretend you’re alive

my scene is the same as usual. sitting on the bed with my laptop on my lap. funny that. it’s a pretty apt name don’t you think? They really thought hard about that one. a while ago i found a spot where i can let it rest on my lap without it heating up too much. its hard to explain, but its good. it just means that i can rest in the same position for a long time without feeling like my legs are about to go on fire. Continue reading


stationary stationary

i realise that i never really let any dedicated reader of this blog know how i am feeling and what i’m actually doing with my life. The last three blog posts were in a series of four. The fourth one is currently scribbled on a A4 pad which i bought from a 7/11 in the middle of bangkok for 32 cents. Its folded and creased and battered from travel abuse. its one of those pads that you don’t really care about, one of those pads that you use for scribbling down phone numbers and working out simple sums. im still yet to transcribe it to computer form, hence the lack of posting for the last week. Continue reading


I could try my very best and summarise the whole bible story in a couple of paragraphs for you. You could understand the basic outline of how the whole thing works out. Who wins, who looses, what Jesus does, why he does it and how. But something about that idea I just don’t like. It just wouldn’t be fair. It wouldn’t be fair on anyones part. It wouldn’t be fair on God, if you just used some half-baked typed up little summary with pretty little pictures illustrating the ‘ten big steps’ of the christian story. It wouldn’t be fair on me, relying on something I have created, something like a smaller bible, for such a critical decision. And lastly it wouldn’t be fair on you. Could you possibly capture the beauty of the whole Lord of The Rings trilogy in just a few paragraphs? It’s the same principle. Continue reading

wonderful world

I have about eight little thai orphans watching me write these words. Of course, they have no idea what they are, as their ability to even speak english doesn’t exist let alone read it. The one on my left is coughing far too much, enough to make me pray that I don’t get whatever it is he has. The one on my right is way too active for his own good, looking at five places at once, jumping, dancing and sitting all at the same time. Continue reading

everlasting scene

So I have come to this critical decision in my mind that no matter what is going on around me, whether there is a cyclone right outside my window or a dog peeing on my right foot, the scriptures need my time. The importance of time gives out more than we will ever know. I try to comprehend every now and again what our time really is worth, but I always end up resigned with hands thrown in the air. We can never know, so we may as well try to make the best of it now while we have it. Continue reading


new year, new posts. paintmesilly starts it all again.

how far we’ve come

i dedicate this post to the year of oh eight. we are all framed individually in this piece of time, crazy isn’t it? me, you and the most powerful men around the world all share this in common. No matter how much we try to manipulate stuff, we as humans can’t change time. i don’t care how many sushi restaurants you own, your getting older and you have less and less to loose. oh i don’t want to start this year on a depressing lets-be-critical mood, but maybe thats the way it needs to be. i think this year is a year where a lot of us wake up to reality, where we slap ourselves silly and start to make changes so we can facilitate attitudes that will change the world. haha, are you sick of idealistic nonsense from this blog? Continue reading